isildur-elessar:

Lightsabers

@LindsayTuggeyPapa Jack gives itchy, beardy hugs.

joecroucher:

Balloons are so weird… “happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”

feliscanis:

don’t tell my pets to shut up. only i can tell my pets to shut up. you shut up.

he refuses to discuss this with me. rent is 13 years overdue”

thatfunnyblog:

Without his moustache.

That is just so inexplicably wrong

snorlaxatives:

7 billion people, 14 billion ass cheeks

no-social-life-needed:

My whole life has been a lie

©ID